Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
