I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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