I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
