yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
