is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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