I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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