A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
