fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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