Having a random hookup so left but love u
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
