Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize