guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
