He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
