how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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