just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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