just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
