I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
