You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I believe in your delicious
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
