At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
