You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
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I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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