i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize