The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
