Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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