Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
