rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
