I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
