The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
