He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
