He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
