Just cropdusted the office
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
