You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
