Its about making memories worth repressing
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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