the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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