My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
