i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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