It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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