He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
