my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
