I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
