I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
This is my gift to your gina
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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