For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
