so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
