After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
