i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
