My hand turned me down
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
We left the knife in your bed.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
