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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Randomize
