How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am one with the molecules
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