He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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