Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
