I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
