BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
