Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
