North Korea, Best Korea!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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