We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
