She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
