if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
