nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
