She's JV to your varsity
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
