Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Randomize
