I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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