O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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