now i know why i became what i already was.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
